Discipline for Smart People    

At one of my British Columbia presentations, I had the pleasure of visiting Kerry Weisner and Darlene Collinson. While visiting Darlene’s classroom, I saw some reflective questions she had posted on the wall just below the ceiling to which she could easily refer.

Darlene told me that she rarely looks at the questions now, but having reflective questions in easy view helped her when she first started using the Discipline Without Stress Teaching Model. The following are the questions she had posted for her easy viewing and reference.

For commitment:
1. Could you have kept your commitment?
2. What are you going to do to make it happen?
3. On a scale of 1 - 10, how would you rank your commitment?

For Reducing Complaining:
1. Is what you are doing helping you get what you want?
2. What do you notice about the experience you are having?

For changing behavior:
1. What do you want?
2. What are you choosing to do?
3. If what you are choosing to do is not getting you what you want, then what’s your plan?
4. What are your steps or procedures to make your plan work?

For doing your best:
1. How does that look to you?
2. What would you like to have improved even more?

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Posted In: Discipline without Stress On: August 15, 2008: 7:29 am: By Marvin Marshall

Dear Dr. Marshall,

About a week before school started, I went online looking for a way to provide a suitable reward system to make sure that my classes were positive and motivated. I knew that rewards were more effective than punishments, or so I thought.

I did a search for “Discipline Rewards” and your site popped up. I started reading your website and I was immediately on-board. After spending about an hour on your site, I decided to try your system this year.

I spent the second day of school talking to my classes about the hierarchy. Their homework was for them to go online and research the Raise Responsibility System.

We discussed their viewpoints the 3rd day of school and the changes started immediately.

I realized for the first time in over 25 years of teaching that I was not having enough faith in my students. As High Priestess of the Control Freaks, I had to learn to step back and give them the chance to analyze their own behavior and come up with their own responsible responses.

The entire atmosphere in my algebra class is changed to one of maturity, self-discipline, helpfulness, and respect. I am not exhausted by the end of the day from trying to control all my students. No more adversarial confrontations!

I am now frequently impressed by the maturity that my students are showing. I have gone from bossing to trusting.

I just received your book yesterday and I plan to get books for my colleagues and also provide some staff development.

Thank you for your website and for your sound principles. I am a much calmer and happier teacher now.

Sharon Miles
Crownsville, Maryland

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Posted In: Discipline without Stress On: August 14, 2008: 12:29 pm: By Marvin Marshall

In persuasion and influence, emotion takes precedence over cognition.

————

Young people misbehave because it has them feel good; otherwise, they would not misbehave. People don’t voluntarily do things that feel bad.

Punishment prompts bad feelings and, therefore, is counterproductive to changing irresponsible behavior in any lasting way.

A more effective approach is to help the young person find a response that will engender better feelings than the feelings that comes with the misbehavior—or the imposed punishment.

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Posted In: Discipline without Stress On: August 13, 2008: 7:36 am: By Marvin Marshall

Thomas Friedman is a three-time Pulitzer Prize winning journalist with the New York Times and author of the best-selling book about globalization, “The World Is Flat.” He recently introduced a new phrase to the English language: CONTINUOUS PARTIAL ATTENTION. This was explained as, “when you are on the Internet or cell phone or Blackberry while also watching TV, typing on your computer and answering a question from your child. That is, you are multitasking your way through the day, continuously devoting only partial attention to each act or person you encounter.”

The August/September, 2006, issue of “Scientific American MIND” included an article about how the brain decides on what to focus conscious attention.

A professor asked his class to watch a short video of two basketball teams and to count how many times the players in white T-shirts passed the ball. The students found that it wasn’t easy to keep their eyes on the moving ball, but most of them believed they counted correctly.

After the show, students were asked, “What did you think about the gorilla?” There was a shocked silence. He restarted the video, and after a few seconds a collective groan rippled through the room as the audience now realized that a person in an ape costume had walked right across the court, pausing in the middle to pound on his chest.

Psychologists Daniel J. Simons and Christopher F. Chabris showed this film at Harvard University for the first time in 1999. They were surprised by the results: Half of the observers missed the furry primate the first time they watched. How was that possible?

The answer was noted long before the experiment was conducted. William James, the father of American Psychology, wrote in his 1890 classic, “The Principles of Psychology,” that the capacity of consciousness is limited, which is the reason that we cannot pay attention to everything at once. Attention is selective. It impels consciousness to concentrate on certain stimuli to process them effectively.

So, when a person is watching TV or listening to the radio while studying, the multitasking splits the brain’s focus and lowers efficiency.

Perhaps you work with someone or know someone—such as a student—who could benefit by this awareness.

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Posted In: Promoting Learning On: August 12, 2008: 8:24 am: By Marvin Marshall

If we think that life is growth and that we should strive to grow—not only intellectually but emotionally as well—we accept comments by others (oftentimes called criticism) as being in our own best interest.

Accepting such comments with a positive spirit depends on two criteria: (1) we trust the person and understand that what the person is sharing with us is in our own best interests and (2) the comments are specific to the situation. Certain terms are avoided, such as ALWAYS, as in, “You always….” or you NEVER, as in, “You never….”

Think of a physician giving you a diagnosis. You don’t react negatively. You accept it because you have faith that what the physician is sharing with you is in your own best interest and you know that the purpose is to help you, not hurt you.

To give you another example, can you list any of your idiosyncrasies? If you are like I am, you would be hard pressed to do so. But ask anyone who sees you on a regular basis, and that person would have no problem listing one, two, or three.

Of course, accepting any suggestion for improvement is a choice. But I find that listening to someone else’s perspective is often in my best interest.

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Posted In: Improving Relationships On: August 11, 2008: 7:26 am: By Marvin Marshall

Positive people are happy people. Happy people are pleasant to be around. Being around people you enjoy improves your own disposition and desire to put forth effort.

Being positive should not be confused with satisfaction. Telling someone to be satisfied makes little sense to me. For example, after a presentation I ask myself, “What did I do that was good?” and “What can I improve?”

We always have the opportunity to learn and grow. If we were satisfied, we would never grow. It is the feelings that emanate from growth that bring satisfaction, joy, and happiness.

If you wish to become more effective, unload the burden of thinking that you need to be satisfied in order to be positive or happy.

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Posted In: Increasing Effectiveness On: August 8, 2008: 8:44 am: By Marvin Marshall

The following was post by Kerry at the mailring.

I usually post the announcement questions that our school uses each day. Originally,  when we did a book study of Discipline Without Stress, we decided to change the format of our daily announcements to make them more in line with the DWS philosophy.

Instead of TELLING kids things like, “Don’t run on the pavement,” we decided we’d be more effective if we asked a question of the students in order to get them to do their own thinking. Nowadays, we might ask, “Why is it a smart idea to walk rather than to run on the pavement leading to the playground?”

We use these announcements/questions to deal with problems in the school, to review school-wide procedures, and to do some character education. We also use them for acknowledgments.

Each day we have one question and generally most teachers take a minute or two to discuss the question after the announcements are over.

Over the years we have built a bank of questions that we repeat each year, and we continue to add more.

Originally, adults did the announcements, but for a few years now our grade sixes have been taking turns at the mike. We have four questions a week, except for Mondays when we have our regular school assembly.

More of Kerry’s psost are availabie at her blog.

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Posted In: Promoting Responsibility On: July 31, 2008: 7:28 am: By Marvin Marshall

PROGRAM ATTRIBUTES have been added to benefits of the approach.
The addition follows:

Using the hierarchy separates the act from the actor, the deed from the doer—irresponsible behavior from a good person. Separation is critical so people don’t feel the natural impulse to defend themselves, their behavior, or their choices.

Using the hierarchy brings attention to the fact that people are constantly making choices.

Using the hierarchy fosters intrinsic motivation so that young people WANT to behave responsibly and WANT to put forth effort to learn.

Using the hierarchy fosters character development without mentioning values, ethics, or morals.

To understand the hierarchy and see how it is used, click on the Hierarchy of Social Development.

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Posted In: Discipline without Stress On: July 30, 2008: 9:04 am: By Marvin Marshall

I was a teacher for ten years. I am now an instructor at California State University where one of my student interns spoke very highly of your book. I have been struggling with my 5-year-old who knows his own mind. Coercion was not working!

I was at a complete loss until I read your book. I had never tried anything like it with my son or in the classroom.

I am writing to tell you that it has been a great help. My son is responding very well and the methods have improved our relationship.

Thank you for giving me a practical method for teaching responsibility.

Karen McCormick
Norco, California

Download Tips for Parents for parenting tips.

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Posted In: Increasing Effectiveness On: July 29, 2008: 8:06 am: By Marvin Marshall

QUESTION: I came across your system while browsing the Internet and I really like the way it is set up. The only problem I have is determining consequences. My district wants a set list of rules and consequences.

RESPONSE: Rules are necessary in games, but rules between people automatically set up an adversarial relationship because, when a rule is broken, the person in authority (teacher) becomes a cop—an enforcer of a broken rule. This is a counterproductive position for good teaching.

QUESTION: My special education students really need the consistency of knowing what happens if they misbehave.

RESPONSE: I have a different take. These students need a different procedure when one procedure loses its effectiveness. Therefore, the superior teacher is consistent in that the teacher consistently looks for procedures to help the student help himself—without relying on an external agent, in this case the teacher.

QUESTION: How do I explain the system to my administrators and keep it structured and have consistent consequences?

RESPONSE: Use the term, “Responsibilities,” instead of “Rules.” List just a few and state them in positive terms—things students should do, not what they should not do. Examples: “Be where I belong.” “Keep my hands to myself.” Elicit others from your students, and you will have met the administration’s requirement.

Regarding consequences, as long as you IMPOSE them, the student has no ownership. IMPOSING consequences merely prompts victimhood thinking on the part of the student—the exact opposite of encouraging choice and control. Have a class meeting with the students and ELICIT ideas (procedures, not consequences) to help students help themselves when they have an irresponsible impulse. See
impulse management.

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Posted In: Discipline without Stress On: July 28, 2008: 2:05 pm: By Marvin Marshall