Discipline for Smart People    

Have a discussion and perhaps a writing exercise on the following comment by the poet Maya Angelou:

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

More information on this topic is available at http://www.marvinmarshall.com.

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Posted In: Improving Relationships On: May 9, 2008: 7:36 am: By Marvin Marshall

People don’t buy from someone they don’t like—at least not in the long run.

In a sense, leaders, teachers, and parents all market.

Leaders market vision and empowerment, teachers market information, and parents market their role-modeling.

Every so often, it pays to reflect on whether you are marketing yourself as you desire.

More information on this topic is available at http://www.marvinmarshall.com.

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Posted In: Improving Relationships On: May 8, 2008: 7:37 am: By Marvin Marshall

This post was prompted by a message from Leo, a teacher in China.

In an attempt to spread Discipline Without Stress and share success, Leo requested that we post a comment on his blog (weblog).

He wrote, “I would like to share my blog. It is a very new and raw site, mostly about Discipline Without Stress experience here in China. I also have some pics of my classroom and my students there. If you are interested in how I use Discipline Without Stress in my 90-students classroom, check it out.

“I would really appreciate it if you could leave a comment there. I need your encouragements and believe it is one of best ways to let more people in China get to know Discipline Without Stress.

“I hope it could become a platform for Chinese teachers and also other teachers in the whole world, too.”

I entered the following:

The levels of the social development hierarchy are very applicable to the Chinese culture. I learned this first hand when I visited and presented in China, where my book was translated into “Simple Chinese.”

Level C standards of behavior are the expectation and the norm in the culture.

Level D would be characterized by the same behavior, but the MOTIVATION to act would be that people WANT to do what is expected.

Thanks for spreading the word.

———-

Many search engines, such as Google, base a major criterion of their rankings on the number of links to a site. The reasoning is that if a site has many links to it then the site must be useful.

HERE IS MY REQUEST: To help spread the message that using a noncoercive approach to foster responsibility is worth sharing, and if you have access to a website or blog, please have it linked to MarvinMarshall.com.

Thank you for your help in spreading the word.

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Posted In: Discipline without Stress On: May 7, 2008: 8:22 am: By Marvin Marshall

The following is from a mailring post at the mailring by Kerry Weisner of British Columbia who partners as a primary teacher and also teaches at-risk high school students. Although the post is in reference to Kerry’s primary classroom, THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE MESSAGE IS APPLICABLE AT ALL GRADE LEVELS AND TO YOUTH OF ALL AGES. (The post is slightly edited for conciseness.)
———-
“We recently had a problem. A change in the school schedule led to a situation where our students had much less adult supervision at noon hour eating time than had been customary. Many students began to misbehave. We were really angry. Our first reaction was to jump to eliciting consequences. In giving it more thought though, we realized that WE’D BE MORE IN LINE WITH THE PROGRAM IF WE GOT RID OF OUR OLD-FASHIONED PUNISHMENT MINDSET (disguised as imposing logical or natural consequences) and instead created some PROCEDURES TO TEACH.

“Although we’ve always realized that it’s proactive to teach classroom procedures and aim at structuring the classroom (as opposed to controlling the kids), we now see that discipline problems can be handled positively, yet effectively, in the same way—by setting up procedures. IT TOOK US MANY YEARS TO RID OURSELVES OF THE REWARDS MINDSET. Perhaps how we handled this recent experience is an indication that WE’RE MOVING BEYOND THE PUNISHMENT MINDSET, TOO! It’s a peaceful feeling!

“We looked at how we could be more positive (Part II A of the teaching model) and how we might motivate the kids to WANT to be better behaved at eating time. We got them to reflect on their misbehaviour and the impact that their choices were having on their relationship with Eileen, our grand motherly noon hour supervisor whom they all dearly love. (Bless her heart! She told the kids that the situation was now at a point where she would have to give them a big hint when they were off-track in their behaviour: When she addressed an individual by the last name ‘Miss Smith’ or ‘MasterJones’—rather than by their first name—they should take it as a sign that she wasn’t very pleased with their behaviour.)

“Although these discussions and a realization that Eileen, to whom they are very attached, was disappointed with their behaviour brought most of the kids back into line, we still had a few who continued to misbehave. Once again, we decided to rethink our strategy and so stepped back to Part I of the teaching model to deal with what was the real root of the problem: WE HAD NEVER REALLY TAUGHT ANY ‘EATING-TIME PROCEDURES’ IN THE FIRST PLACE!

“Setting procedures and practicing them (at least 8 times) until they become routine, is the TEACHER’S responsibility! IMMEDIATELY OUR MINDSET CHANGED—FROM BLAMING THE KIDS AND FROM FEELING ANGRY WITH THEM—TO TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE PROBLEM OURSELVES. Once we had correctly analyzed the situation, it was easy to know what to do. We had to create some eating-time procedures, teach them, and then practice them religiously. Our anger and our belief that imposed consequences were necessary in the situation evaporated—so did our stress!

“Of course, the only downside to creating new procedures part way through the year is that infinitely more practice time is required to master them than would be needed to master them in September. According to Harry Wong, the guru of classroom management, 28 practice times are required to replace ineffective procedures with new ones. (Note: Dr. Wong attributes the number 28 to Madeline Hunter.)

“In other words, since the kids had each developed their OWN eating-time procedures (wandering as they ate, getting into trouble, etc.), we would have to provide 20 practice times of OUR new procedures to ‘erase’ the memory of their ingrained individual procedures—and THEN we would need the 8 more practice times required to teach any new procedure! A tall order but what other choice is there once you’ve neglected to teach the correct procedures the first time around?

“So in the end, here’s what we did:

“We made a poster outlining the main procedures that we expected the kids to follow when they came in after playtime to eat. We used short sentences/phrases that they read independently and made the chart look attractive and colorful with a graphic found on the Internet. We displayed it prominently on the front board.

“LUNCH TIME PROCEDURES:

1. Change shoes. (Kids have both indoor and outdoor shoes/boots in our climate.)

2. Use the washroom.

3. Eat at desk and KEEP all garbage and recycling trash.

4. When finished eating (Here was an opportunity to include some choice), read from the desk book bag or draw in Doodle Book.

5. AT THE BELL, clean up.

6. Return to desk.

“We took 15 minutes of lesson time to read and teach the list of procedures on the first day that we introduced it, explaining to the kids that we needed some clear procedures at eating time because it was obvious from the recent problems that we’d been having when the adults weren’t in the room that not everyone understood what was expected of them during eating time. Since then, every day we quickly review the chart just before the kids go out to play at lunch and Eileen also reviews it when the kids sit down to eat. Slowly but surely, we are working up to those 28 repetitions necessary to replace old procedures with new ones and behaviour has improved significantly.

“ONE INTERESTING EXPERIENCE I HAD WHEN DOING THE INITIAL TEACHING WAS WITH ONE OF OUR STUDENTS WHO WAS THE MOST POORLY BEHAVED AT LUNCH—THE ONE WHO WAS MOST OFTEN OUT OF HIS SEAT AND INVOLVED IN MISCHIEF. After teaching Procedure #3, I questioned him about what a person should do with a juice box once they had finished drinking all the juice. He replied ‘Put it in the recycling box at the sink.’ I said that we’d better read #3 again, which we did and I asked him the same question again—to which he gave me the SAME reply, ‘Put it in the recycling box at the sink.’ I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT! It took two more readings of Procedure #3 before it finally registered in this child’s mind and he could answer correctly, ‘Keep it at the desk.’

“THIS LITTLE INTERACTION SHOWED ME THAT THERE ARE SURELY QUITE A FEW KIDS WHO DON’T INTENTIONALLY MEAN TO MISBEHAVE BUT DO SO BECAUSE THEY TRULY HAVEN’T LEARNED WHAT THE TEACHER EXPECTS THEM TO DO. In the future, I WON’T BE SO QUICK TO FORM THE OPINION THAT CERTAIN STUDENTS ARE MISBEHAVING WITH THE DELIBERATE INTENTION TO BE BAD or to ‘get me’!

“Next year, we’ll begin by teaching eating-time procedures right off the bat in September—whether we seem to need them or not. Since we’ll be teaching them proactively—and not as a REACTION to a problem—we may be able to teach procedures that are less restrictive and give more opportunity for the development of SELF-discipline. Our procedures may eventually evolve over the course of the year to look more like the following:

“LUNCH TIME PROCEDURES:

1. Change shoes.

2. Use the washroom.

3. Eat at desk.

4. When finished eating (TO OFFER THREE CHOICES):
–Read a book, or
–Draw on some scrap paper, or
–Do a game/puzzle on the carpet

5. AT THE BELL, clean up.

6. Return to desk.

“We’re much happier with the way we’ve handled our noon hour problems this year. Although to some people unfamiliar with a noncoercive and non-punitive approach to discipline, it might look as if the kids got away with something and in fact were even rewarded with a fancy doodle book, we feel differently. We know that our students will be better able to develop true self-control when we show them step-by-step how to go about it, and we also now understand that retaining a positive relationship with our students is key and will make for fewer discipline difficulties in the future.”

More information on this topic is available at http://www.marvinmarshall.com.

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Posted In: Promoting Responsibility On: May 6, 2008: 1:29 pm: By Marvin Marshall

A student teacher at Humboldt State University in Northern California asked me at a conference to sign her book and to please include “WWMMD.” I obliged and then asked her what “WWMMD” meant. She told me that whenever her college instructor—Mary Lynn Bryan, a National Board Certified Teacher— gives a scenario about a school situation, she has the students respond by first asking
themselves ,”WWMMD?”

Translation: What Would Marvin Marshall Do?

I was rather taken aback. After reflecting on the possible efficacy of the phrase, I thought to ask our daughter about it. She is a social worker who counsels teenagers and is also certified by the William Glasser Institute in Reality Therapy and Choice Theory. I asked,

“Hillary, if you were working with one of your challenging clients and wanted to use Dr. Glasser’s approach, would the phrase, ‘What would William Glasser do?’ prompt you to reflect upon his approach to guide you in the situation?”

She responded with an enthusiastic, “Yes!”

I also asked Kerry Weisner (whose blog is at DisciplineAnswers.com) her opinion of the phrase. To my surprise, I discovered that she had already used it.

Kerry wrote me:

“I have used that myself! Just as you said, I found it brought me back to the three principles of positivity, choice and reflection and allowed me to know exactly what to do. I think it is a helpful thing for people to think about because newcomers often are overwhelmed with all the information in the book—especially if the concept of noncoercion is new to them.

“I found that it was like ‘widening the gap’ between the stimulus and the response. By asking myself WWMMD?, I was able to stop the typical automatic reactions and PAUSE. In the pause, I had something productive to think about (the three principles) and that led me to come up with something more effective.

“I think that the more I work with Discipline Without Stress the more I fall back on the principles to guide me. If you can truly maintain a positive outlook, offer real choices in a pleasant way and get the student to reflect, there’s not usually much need to be going the route of what we think of as traditional discipline strategies—consequences. Our work at the alternate school has been a crash course in this. You quickly learn how to be positive and noncoercive with people who will swear at you and leave the school, not returning for days if you pressure them in any slight way.

“Come to think of it, I have used this same strategy in my regular teaching, too. My partner, Darlene, is so creative that whenever I want to think of a creative teaching idea, I just ask myself, ‘What would Darlene do with this lesson?’ It works!

“Here’s an example. Every year we have a developmental writing test in our district. The whole district writes about a particular topic. There’s a different topic for primary, intermediate, middle school, etc. The district suggests that the kids spend several days getting ready for this test by recording and brainstorming and webbing and organizing their ideas on paper.

“At our Grade One level, we find that having them WRITE their ideas is actually counterproductive because they get tired of the whole thing before the big day. For them the process of actually writing is exhausting! Instead we find that the more we have the kids TALK about the topic before they write, the more enthusiastic they are and the better they write. So last year I wanted to think of a way to get them really talking.

“In a previous year I had tried to get the parents involved by asking them to talk with their child about the topic at home, but that backfired. The parents, realizing that this was leading up to the ‘big test,’ panicked. Instead of simply talking with their kids as I had asked them to do, some had their kids practice writing at home. When the day of the writing test came, the kids were ‘written out’ and so didn’t do very well. All their work was quite stilted.

“So last year, I said to myself WWDarleneD? (What Would Darlene Do?) Immediately, I came up with a great idea. I had the kids make microphones out of toilet paper rolls and then I gave them each a little cardboard clipboard with a little pencil attached. I also had them each make an official PRESS BADGE. They became newspaper reporters.

“I gave them a list of questions they might ask other kids and then they could take turns reporting on the answers. They loved being reporters; they loved the microphones and speaking into them. Kids who never would usually say much loved speaking into a pretend microphone. It was fun. I’ve never seen so much on-task conversation happening in the room about a writing topic! The next day when they went to write, they already knew what they wanted to say because they’d had so many interviews about the topic. I never would have come up with that idea on my own without first asking WWDD?”

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So, in all humility, I pass the suggestion on to you. The next time you are facing a challenging situation, consider pausing and asking yourself, “WWMMD?” The response will always refer to the practices described at The Discipline Without Stress Teaching Model.

More information is available at http://www.marvinmarshall.com.

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Posted In: Increasing Effectiveness On: May 5, 2008: 8:41 am: By Marvin Marshall

I received the following in a recent e-mail:

“I heard about your newsletter from a teacher in my district. She began using your system and enthusiastically shared it with everybody she could. I am using it and love the ’stress free’ aspect of the kids knowing they are responsible for their choices—rather than me!”

Thanks,

Janet Gibney
Summit, New Jersey

More testimonials are available at http://www.marvinmarshall.com.

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Posted In: Discipline without Stress On: May 2, 2008: 7:47 am: By Marvin Marshall

QUESTION:

What sort of consequence would a student with level “A” behavior receive? I’ve been down the rewards and punishment route but as we know, it is not effective.

I repeat instructions until the student complies or a more serious consequence seems inevitable. It is very important that the child know that insubordination will not be tolerated.

RESPONSE:

The answer to this is in a prime difference between Discipline Without Stress and other approaches. Whether the consequence is referred to as logical or natural, as long as it is IMPOSED it will prompt a negative feeling and, therefore, one of resistance.

Rather than imposing a consequence, ELICIT it. The conversation goes something like, “This behavior is on a level that is simply inappropriate in our classroom, and it is unacceptable. What do you suggest we do so that you will not continue to be a victim of these impulses?”

Continue to ask, “What else?” “What else?” “What else?” until the student comes up with a procedure or consequence that will help the student redirect future impulses.

This noncoercive approach sends the message that you want to help the student, rather than a desire to control the student.

Review the example at Impulse Management.

It is very important to understand that this is NOT a permissive approach. Responsibility is placed ON THESTUDENT—where it belongs.

More information on this topic is available at http://www.marvinmarshall.com.

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Posted In: Discipline without Stress On: May 1, 2008: 7:57 am: By Marvin Marshall