Discipline for Smart People    

While waiting for my wife to shop after presenting in Adelaide, Australia (a lovely city we really enjoyed), I purchased a copy of Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” Originally published in 1936, the book went on to become one of the best-selling books of all time and making Carnegie an international celebrity and an American icon.

The book was used as the text in my first college speech course, and since it had been years since I first read it, I decided to re-read it. The copy of the classic book I purchased was the 1981 revised edition. Carnegie had a gift for expressing profound truths in simple ways. A perfect example is his “Six Ways to Make People Like You”:

Principle 1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
Principle 2. Smile.
Principle 3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
Principle 4. Be a good listener, and encourage others to talk about themselves.
Principle 5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
Principle 6. Make the other person feel important, and do it sincerely.

Carnegie believed that you can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.

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Posted In: Improving Relationships On: October 28, 2007: 7:48 am: By Marvin Marshall

I recently was sent an article about a study showing the effects of punishment as motivation on the brain. As I linked to the article about how the threat of punishment can deter bad behavior, a drawing of an adult immediately popped up.

I thanked the sender of the article with the following comments:

“The picture in the article shows an adult. I have absolutely no problem with incarcerating adults for retribution, fairness, justice, or protection of the public.

“As I explain in my seminars, if you believe that an 8-year-old is a 28-year-old, then you will treat the 8-year-old as you would treat the 28-year-old. However, if you believe that an 8-year-old is not yet a 28-year-old and you would like to prevent youth from joining the other 2,000,000 youth incarcerated in the USA, then you will consider using a more effective approach—one that motivates youth to be responsible, rather than an approach that prompts negative, anti-social feelings of rebellion.”

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Posted In: Promoting Responsibility On: October 27, 2007: 11:50 am: By Marvin Marshall

The Thursday, October 25, 2007 edition of USA Today featured an article about Nancy Berry, a teacher in Walton Beach, Florida. The 64-year-old first grade teacher’s classroom was described as a place where children want to learn. What struck me more than creative learning stations and individualizing instruction was her carefully crafted teaching strategies that instill self-confidence, etiquette, and compassion—the foundation of character traits that last a lifetime.

Here is an example of how she motivates youngsters to write. A topic is first discussed. Students write at least six lines about the discussion. The required six lines usually turns into 16. She avoids being critical of children’s mistakes. Instead she uses an empathetic approach when reviewing their work. Berry corrects any words with students individually, rereads the word, and acknowledges their effort by saying something like, “Even President Bush didn’t know how to do this in the first grade” or “That’s an eighth-grade-level word.”

Just this thought of how Nancy Berry inspires her students makes teaching, and the resulting growth of young people, one of the most satisfying of all professions.

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Posted In: Promoting Learning On: October 26, 2007: 8:02 am: By Marvin Marshall

All students have two questions when they enter any classroom:
(1) Will I fit in?
(2) Will I succeed?

Two ways to empower students so that their responses will be in the affirmative are:

(1) Start the class by having students share the name they would like to be called and have them share one personal thing about themselves. It can be a hobby, a special interest, how they enjoy spending their time, a favorite movie, a special song—anything that others in the class can relate to about each student.

(2) Start any assignment or any test that is EASY so that the students’ self-talk becomes, “I can do this!”

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Posted In: Promoting Learning On: October 25, 2007: 5:09 pm: By Marvin Marshall

I will be in Johannesburg and Cape Town South Africa with a delegation of California School Administrators sponsored by the People to People Ambassador Program until October 22, 2007.

During my presentation, I will share my teaching model.

My aim is to help implement their goal of “developing socially responsible citizens of South Africa.”

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Posted In: Discipline without Stress On: October 8, 2007: 9:05 am: By Marvin Marshall

In order for the brain to pay attention, the stimulus needs to be engaging.

Any of the following approaches will keep young people’s attention:

1. The presentation or activity is creative.
2. The information is relevant, interesting, or fun.
3. The questions asked prompt curiosity.
4. Variety, the spice of learning, is employed.
5. Enthusiasm is displayed.

It is also important to remember that the brain doesn’t remember what it doesn’t use.

The aphorism definitely pertains to learning: Use it or lose it.

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Posted In: Promoting Learning On: : 8:46 am: By Marvin Marshall

Having a positive mindset is essential for efficient learning. There is a direct connection between the brain and the body. Think of the emotion that is prompted when the youngster’s self-talk is, “I HAVE to go to school today.”

Now think of the emotion that is prompted when the youngster thinks, “I GET to go to school today.”

Thinking in more positive terms (I get to vs. I have to) prompts desire.

The most important ingredient to academic success is not native ability but rather staying on a task until successfully completed, and this requires self-talk of, “I can do this.”

Positivity prompts optimism.

Optimism prompts perseverance.

Perseverance breeds achievement.

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Posted In: Promoting Learning On: October 3, 2007: 8:41 am: By Marvin Marshall

Discipline without Stress focuses on motivation and procedures. This is in contrast to approaches that focus on finding the root cause of a problem or determining needs.

Older programs emphasized that, in order to solve discipline problems, either the cause of the behavior needed to be known and/or the person’s “needs” had to be met.

Alfred Adler and his disciple, Rudolf Dreikurs, were leaders in the school that understanding cause is essential for solution. Related to this was their belief that misbehavior is the result of not having needs met.

William Glasser’s Reality Therapy and Choice Theory do not rely on the past “causes” but believe that “meeting needs” is essential. Albert Ellis’ Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy labels “needs” as really “wants.”

My approach to changing behavior focuses neither on cause nor on needs/wants.

Regarding cause, I believe that finding the cause of a problem, although of interest, has little to do with changing behavior. Causation focuses on the past. When you focus on the past, you are revisiting memories. The more you stay in the past, the more you avoid facing the present. The past cannot be changed. It is useless to water last year’s crops.

In order for a change to be successfully implemented, new behavior needs to be visualized and practiced which, in turn, makes new neural connections in the brain. The more the new behavior is implemented, the more the new behavior becomes the “default” and the more comfortable and easy it becomes. Determining cause has little to do with making new neural connections for new behaviors.

I also believe that any articulation of a person’s needs or wants is an assumption and not essential to finding a solution. It is motivation that plays a critical part in changing behavior. Although motivation is part cognitive and part emotional, it is the emotion—the desire—that prompts behavior. Since this emotion may not always be rational, having a procedure to redirect behavior is essential for success.

Discipline without Stress focuses on the difference between external and internal motivation and the practice of procedures to implement a change in behavior.

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Posted In: Discipline without Stress On: October 1, 2007: 8:52 am: By Marvin Marshall